I like metal beveled letters. I like the way they shine and glitter. I prefer to get a better set of gleaming metal text with the nifty heft of a solid gold kettle or an iridescent beetle (VW that is). For it is undeniable that a fancy fabricated font from a factories foundry is a fount of quaint quandry and a fantastical feeling to boot.

Everyone loves letters, whether they know it or not.

For the unacceptably skeptical on a practical sabbatical from the intractable truth I have spoken I present the following general guidelines:

1) Any reputable reptile dealer will have a convertible submersible with a reversible chrome letter X on its fin.

2) For simplicity’s sake, anything not relating directly too or a consequence of (1) will be disregarded.